I feel so stress now. SPM is really coming sooner and sooner. I dun tink i hold my frenship very firm in this month. I donno wat i shud do. I hate it when I found that my friends especially my close friends don’t belief me. I find it very hurting for me myself. Sometimes im just so sick of frenship thang but Im a person who cant live without friends. I tink next time I should handle my friends problem properly and think before i speak. This is just so terrible. If i mistakenly said one word wrong people will misunderstand me. I really hope my friend take my as her close fren too as I already take her as my close fren. I doesn’t mean that I want some give back from her but didn’t she feel anything warm when talk to me or just chatting with me through MSN???
Slowly, I found out that we could only discuss about other people’s bad attitude. Other than that topic we really could not move on for very long time. Is this called as close friend??? I don’t think so but i really wished that we both can be close friend. My X friend {paiseh cannot reveal her name} told me that she thinks that me and her these days are very close. We’re making it so obvious and I just hoped that my Y friend wont feel any prejudice on us both. I really want all my friends and me had no secrets on each other and trust each other. But this is so impossible. Sometimes, when i am free i will start to think that will my friends betray me, will my friends distrust me, will my friends hate me, will my friends backstabbed me, will my friends dislike me at all, will my friends like me to talk the way i do, will my friends think that i’m bad, will my friends think that im just showing off sometimes, will .. will.. will.. That WILL is never going to end in my mind.Now im just clueless on how to solve my friendship problem. Im struggling in my heart to release me out from this problem. Im so sick of it. Friends are everywhere but its really hard to find someone who understands u well. Someone who understands you well does benefit you sometimes but when she may know what you think about her including bad stuff. That’s the dangerous part. Hehe. My eyes are now crying for rest. Haiz.
Slowly, I found out that we could only discuss about other people’s bad attitude. Other than that topic we really could not move on for very long time. Is this called as close friend??? I don’t think so but i really wished that we both can be close friend. My X friend {paiseh cannot reveal her name} told me that she thinks that me and her these days are very close. We’re making it so obvious and I just hoped that my Y friend wont feel any prejudice on us both. I really want all my friends and me had no secrets on each other and trust each other. But this is so impossible. Sometimes, when i am free i will start to think that will my friends betray me, will my friends distrust me, will my friends hate me, will my friends backstabbed me, will my friends dislike me at all, will my friends like me to talk the way i do, will my friends think that i’m bad, will my friends think that im just showing off sometimes, will .. will.. will.. That WILL is never going to end in my mind.Now im just clueless on how to solve my friendship problem. Im struggling in my heart to release me out from this problem. Im so sick of it. Friends are everywhere but its really hard to find someone who understands u well. Someone who understands you well does benefit you sometimes but when she may know what you think about her including bad stuff. That’s the dangerous part. Hehe. My eyes are now crying for rest. Haiz.
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