EXAMS ... EXAMS

Yesterday, I saw a rainbow ;D. I always think that if i see rainbow means that day will be my lucky day and then the next day will be quite unlucky. It doesnt mean that Im trying to become superstitious or belief in sumkind of what stupid thoughts, but I've been observing and felt that my life really goes that way. And its true. Today is the first day go back to school after having 2 weeks holiday and it means that I only left probably about 4 months left before the real SPM. Trial SPM will be erm.... one and a half months again which is in August 2008. It's coming soon and as time flies by Im getting more and more stress. Haiz.. really donno how to fix my study plan. Oh ya. Today, I've got a few of my test papers back and the results aren't really satisfying for me cause my statistic had dropped compared to the mid-term results which is in March. I think I need to work harder for the next test but I dont have any confidence whether I can work it out or not. Hehe. When I went to add maths tuition tonight suddenly one of the staff from sri sarjana, Mr. X [forgot what's his surname] came into our class and said EXAM tonight. Oh gosh. I just hate to hear this word. I haven prepare anything yet and my mind are completely blank about some formulas. So the whole night, I have to struggle myself to think about the formulas and ways to solve the problems. Its kinda torturing. But at last, I give up and discussed with Winnie and look up for my books hoping that I can dig up some formulas and ways to solve certain questions. The questions honestly are HARD for me. Im really not looking forward to look at my marks on that paper and dun wish that Miss Felicia will mark it. I hope she don't get disappointed with my marks. Hahaha. Tomorrow school again and have to face my nervousNESS again during giving back test papers. But this is definitely not worst than getting SPM results. Hahaa.

This morning about 3 am, I accompanied my brother to send his friend back home. At that time, the roads are silent. Just a few cars on the road. I like the breeze at that time which is cold. Actually I get to try driving the car back home but my brother dont allow. What a slip of chance. Haiz. But never mind next time I will get that chance which is coming soon. Maybe this December I will start attending driving lessons and learn driving. Yes. Tonight I go to physics tuition and I have a test. I dont really know how to answer the questions. I have discussed with my friends and search for answers in the book. Are there counted as cheating? Hehe. Anything la cause I dont care anymore. My crush didnt go to tuition. Haiz. Didnt get to see him but never mind. I planned to forget him. All I need now is time to let my feeling towards him just fade away from my heart.

Family Reunion

Me and my cousin. We're both 17. Haha. Look alike or not??













This is my bro act cute and me ;P














James Bond post which are both my cousins.


















Children are always with poses.













This is me with my mom, aunty, uncle and cousin.













Siblings and cousins.


















Me with my uncles and aunties and cousins.













Uncle Charlie from singapore, Aunty Ai Ling from Miri, my mum and me.






Im really hopeless cause I didnt learn anything in this holidays. But never mind. Just forget about it. Holiday is enjoying myself. Why would I make myself so suffer thinking about studies. Haha.. Tonight I had an enjoyable night. My family, my grandparents, my uncle from Singapore and my aunty from Miri had come back to Kuching to spend their holiday. Will really miss them after they left.

changing ambition

Tonight my uncle from singapore, uncle Charlie come to my house and we have a chat about my future planning. From he, i cant denied that I really learn alot about life in this world. Real life. I planned to study hotel management. But from him, I learnt that hotel managing is really a tiring work. When people having holiday for sure I would be the most busy person in this whole world. No exact office hour at all. I choose hotel management cause I like meeting with different kinds of people. But he taught me that if I really like to meet with people, I can just join myself into association. I found out that his words really did make sense to me. He suggested to ask me to study accountancy and I promised him that I will think about this course. Accountancy course really fullfil my three wishes that are high paid job, not that tough to study compare to other courses like engineering, and last but not least is my future will be bright if I really study this course. But also of course, it depends on how much effort I've put while studying this accountancy course. Jus now about 12 am smth, I followed my brother go out to have supper with his friends. We eat porridge and just went back about 2 sharp. This is really a good experience for myself although it's a bit quite late going home at this time. But still worth the try. Hehehehe..oh ya my uncle charlie's email is csoh@uobkayhian.com. Will try email to him to ask for help about singapore universities.

my interest and ......future

The drama that i liked to watch the most is singapore drama rite now. Totally in love with it. In jus 2 days, I've finished watching one singapore drama. I jus donno how did I managed to finish it. Really keng leh. Besides that, I always been interested in watching grey's anatomy and ghost whisperer. Both were my favourites in starworld channel. But unfortunately, there's no more grey's anatomy in starworld which I have to spent my RM75 to buy three seasons of the show in Kenyalang. Its really worth it for me coz Im spending on sumthing that I liked to watch. Hehe... I tink it benefits me alot by watching this show coz I can learn smth abt biology and jus some general knowledge. Among my frens, im the only one who loves this show and that makes my frens dont understand why i like this show. Haha.. Oh ya.. melinda gordon is the main character in ghost whisperer. If i could be like her then i would be so happy to help the ghost to crossover. I liked to watch ghost movies a lot but im scare of the dark. It doesnt make sense rite.. I remembered i cried in my fren's house during her bday party coz her house suddenly blacked out. When i tink of it quite embarassed me alot. But a past is a past. Hehe.. now im jus planning for my future. Last nite i went to sleep at about 5 smth in the morning. I spend an hour plus tinking about my own future. I hope to abroad my studies to singapore but im afraid that i couldnt succeed to apply for singapore's scholarship. And i also hope that after singapore i can further my studies to some western countries that i liked to go like switzerland maybe if i take hotel management. Im rite now having financial problem so i might jus stay in the singapore to complete my studies or staying in kuching. Haiz.. really donno about it .. it makes me headache every time i tink of it.

BorInG

really in these holidays.. im totally so boring in the house. My crush didnt reply my msg. Fine coz i didnt really like him anymore.. hahahaha. I planned to study but really don't have the heart and interest to proceed on. I promise to myself that this week im going to finish reading all my history chapters that I haven read before in Form 4. Hope that this task will succeed but im not hoping much. Useless me. Haha. In this holiday, I dont really hold my friendship very strong. There's some frens backstabbing me i guess. Will try to check whether its true or not. If its true I also cant do anything. Jus keep quiet and sit down like an idiot. Hope that after this holiday everything goes fine. I planned to do this blog for myself is because Im totally too boring in the house and really want to shout out my problems. I dont expect my best friend to hear all my problems coz these might make them sick.

Tearing My Heart

Night before the PMR results, my mom told me that it's dangerous for me to walk alone. So after you get your PMR results, call me.. I will call Helen or probably myself to pick u up from school. I was so happy that my mom cares about me. Maybe she expected me to get straight in PMR. The day came. My PMR results is not very satisfying. Then, I called my mom and tell her my results. She told me to walk myself back home. I was so disappointed. She told me that it's very good already with the A's. But I always know that she didn't feel satisfied at all. She wasn't happy with my results. SHe expected more from me. She's actually putting pressure and stress for me.
Then, one day my mom's telling me that she donno where to put the iGallop. Then I say why dont put it in my room. She was so care about her eldest son and say what if brother wanna sit the iGallop. Very hard for him to go to your room. But what about me. Do she ever think about me. Why she wanna put the computer in brother's room instead of the living room?? Why she didnt think of my side? Coz it's also hard for me to go to his room. Haiz. She just love my brother more than me with an excuse that last time he always get bitten up by my dad. That's not a true.
Everytime my grandma would say I need to give my things to the younger ones. I say back to her why last time brother didnt give me everything he own. The answer that i have got is because he's not talking to you now. Wat an excuse is that. Too unreasonable. Everytime I would mumble to my mom. Why all my siblings got new clothes to wear and why am I need to share with you? Ok. Sometimes I did have new clothes but that's happening when my mom is in cloud nine and then she'll pity me and buy. And during Chinese New Year I got new clothes to wear. Mom say I didnt have to buy clothes coz I can share with her. But mostly her clothes I just can't wear coz too mature for me. If she buy clothes and think of whether Im suit in that clothes or not, I dont even mind sharing with her.
I have my tuition this month at Green Road. My dad wants me to use bus. He say he cannot bring me at that time. But why last year, it's also the same time 4.00 he can pick up my brother and sister from tuition? And why now he cant bring me to tuition at tat same time? It's obviously not fair. I was so sick living in this house. Sometimes, I will like to disturb my brother. Then my mom starts to scold me like wat. But if it is my elder brother who disturb my little brother, my mom would ask why my little brother likes to cry and asked him to stop that crying. She didnt even bother to scold my elder brother. What are these all about. World is always UNFAIR.